We do what we must

"We do what we must," my friend said.

And she meant it, because she does it.

In the face of heartbreak, every single day she gets up and tackles what must be done. She goes to work, takes care of clients, pays the bills, takes care of her children, deals with teachers, helps the family cope, plans for the inevitable, deals with doctors and every single day she she tenderly cares for her ailing husband. No question, she does what she must and she does it heroically.

And somewhere in there, the dogs get fed, the laundry gets done, the house is more or less straight, and she is presentable, calm and professional. Because she must be. Because there is no other choice. Life, and the doctors, and the disease have given her no other choice.

Driving home from our visit, I felt the gift of her strength - and her sorrow.

If she can, I can. If she can, you can.

Love,

Jennifer

What happens after

Having trouble getting into your story? If you can't figure out how to take readers to the point where your story really begins, consider skipping the setup. Try diving right into 'what happens after.'

Writers can struggle so much with how to get into a moment that we overlook the power of what comes after that moment. Whether we're writing for a character or writing from our lives, we think that for readers to really understand our point we need to write the full setup, share all of everything that led to this, tell the whole, complicated backstory. 

We don't.

Some of the best entry points to a story, memoir, or anecdote occur right when a shift happens, not hours or weeks before. Rather than struggling through rewrite after rewrite to build up to a scene, drop the reader right into it and keep writing. When the natural pause comes, take a break. You may realize when you come back to the piece that less backstory creates more tension and more interest.

After all, isn't this how real life unfolds? It's just another day and then, in the space of seconds or minutes, it becomes the day your mother had a heart attack, the day you found out you were pregnant, the day the planes hit the Twin Towers, the day you won the lottery, the day you lost your job. Suddenly, it's no longer a day, it's The Day.

If 'what happens after' is what your story is really about, jump into the key moment and start writing. The backstory you truly need will become obvious.

Take care,

Jennifer

?: How do you get into the story?

Writing Tips: Read it out loud. Just do it.

I'm amazed to come across writers who don't read their work out loud to themselves. This is such a basic editing practice, it should be a rule. In fact, let's make it one: ALWAYS read your work out loud to yourself. ALWAYS.

There really is a difference in hearing your work and reading your work. The ear is sensitive in ways the mind is not, and vice versa. You'll hear things you no longer see, usually because you've stared at the page for too long.

What will you hear?

* Word repetition. Read it out loud once and catch what you can. Then, read it again emphasizing 'special' words, significant modifiers or words you suspect you've used too often. Pay particular attention to the words that describe your main theme. You CAN find alternatives. At the very least, substitute a synonym for repetitions within the same paragraph so repetition isn't as obvious.

* Awkward phrasing. This can be due to a word you left out, stilted vocabulary that flows on the page but grates on the ear, overly explanatory phrasing, or any number of things.

* False voice in your characters. (Would she really say that? You'll know when you hear it said whether it sounds like her or not.)

* Wordiness. Look for unnecessary phrases, extra words, the emphasis or superlative when none is needed.

A myriad of obvious and subtle improvements will jump out at you when you hear them. Even subsequent readings will offer more.

How often should you read your work aloud, and at what point? Usually I wait until the final edit phase. Since I edit as I write, and then take a break, then edit again, reading aloud is one of the final edits I do. Rarely the last one, just one of the later ones.

My best editing formula with final copy is to edit, edit again, then edit again. Then read out loud. Take a break. Repeat.

Try it and see if you don't produce finer work.

?: Got an editing habit or trick that works well for you? I'd love to hear it.

Take care,

Jennifer

Memoir writing: Find the reason you share

There are good reasons to share from your life.  Good writers know those reasons. They have a rationale for telling their stories, and that rationale is inseparable from the 'why' of their writing.

Everyone has a story and most of us find our own stories fascinating. Telling too much is the great temptation of writing memoir. To control your story, know your motivation. 

Memoirists are driven to share the 'it' of what it was like for them - that's the nature of being a memoir writer. Good memoirists do this for reasons they've considered. They can tell you why they share and, more importantly, when and why they don't. Their reasons may not matter to someone else, but they must matter to them. 

When you read well-written memoir, you'll recognize the writer's purpose for choosing what to include. What's included moves the story forward, provides insight, deepens and even expands the purpose, whether that's to:

* Share a moment in time or history that has some universal meaning or timeless lesson or insight;

* Preserve memories of people, places, events;

* Explain yourself - why you did something, how you felt, what your choices really were, what you meant to say, what you wish had happened, why you are the way you are;

* Tell a good story;

* Convey wisdom, love, forgiveness, compassion, strength or their opposites, depending on your values;

* Express your world view;

* Leave a legacy for those you love; or any number of reasons.

When you write from your own life, consider why you feel driven to write memoir. Know this motivation well enough so that you can NOT write about what doesn't need to be shared.

Knowing what doesn't belong is essential to good writing. Knowing your purpose helps you distill what should stay, and what should not.

?: How do you know what to leave in, and what to edit out?

Jennifer 

On writing dialogue: Listen for the reveal (conversation with a narcissist)

At her request, we sat and talked. And then, without warning, she revealed herself. She might as well have stood up and taken off her clothes, or pulled her hair back and shown me not her roots, but her brain.

I've known her for years, and known she was profoundly self-absorbed. But not until this conversation had she revealed the depth of her narcissism. How lost her soul is to that dark region wasn't clear until she said, fervently and unselfconsciously,

"I know this is happening to lots of Americans, but I'm the only American I care about."

In that moment, I had no doubt that this was true.

Were I to write the scene, I'd convey context through details (she absentmindedly twists her huge diamond ring as she speaks), previous remarks ("I hate not being able to buy new clothes every season. It's not fair this is happening to me!"), her clothes (faux furs in the latest colors), her expression (sullen, resentful, self-pitying).

Listening to her bemoan her reduced but still ample income, I marveled at her materialism. I was impressed by her candor and lack of shame. And in a strange way, I was inspired by her utter lack of concern about my reaction. She was frankly, openly, and enthusiastically all about herself. As ugly as her words were, they were completely true for her.

It was a great writing moment.

Writers who love good dialogue have an ear for it. When we hear a good line, our inner tape recorder switches on. Before the conversation is over, we've written a scene around that line. Even as we listen and respond, we're taking notes, revising, and improvising. Sometimes we pursue the conversation to see if we can get another great line, or we hold the moment long enough for us to place our pen on exactly what this person is all about.

(When you get a line like this - write it down! Never let a good line go unrecorded. Even if you have great recall, don't risk it. Entire novels have stumbled out of the ether through the rift slit in the curtain by a great line. Guard every good line with your pen - you never know what may follow.)

From this one line, I gained a new insight into narcissim. My ear woke up and I heard every 'I', 'me', 'my', and 'mine' she uttered as if they echoed. That scene will live in my notes until the day it moves to a page, or feeds my understanding of a narcissistic character.

Want to write great dialogue? Listen for it. Notice and record the great lines, let yourself tune in to what humans reveal when we open our mouths.

Jennifer