The next step

Last week, I resigned from 17 years of my life.

Heart and Soul, the column I've written weekly for almost 17 years in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette newspapers, the chronicle of my children's lives and mine, ends tomorrow.

Strangely, it ended by my choice. For months I've debated whether it was time to let it go. Apparently, Life got fed up with my indecision and made the decision for me.

The simple fact is that my husband is facing a serious health challenge. The complex fact is that I am tired. Writing the column takes a lot of time each week, it's not something I've ever done quickly or lightly - I'm not that kind of writer. Right now, my family needs me and I need more time to do things that keep me healthy and strong as we deal with whatever is ahead.

In spite of these utterly compelling reasons to let the column go, this is still a hard goodbye.

I may or may not write about our health journey here, we haven't decided that yet. But I will keep writing. Writing here instead of in the paper lets me choose the time, place and length of my work, and these have become important choices.

From my very first column, I felt called to write Heart and Soul. Following that inner voice meant examining my life, and that journey defined as well as shaped me. I knew I had something valuable to say, something my readers needed to hear, and that feeling is still strong.

When one door closes, another opens. It will be good to make time for things that keep me feeling fulfilled, joyful and serene. And one of those things will be writing here, when I can and when time and life allow. I hope you'll check in now and then. In the meantime, I wish all of you all good things - always.

With love and best wishes,

Jennifer

We do what we must

"We do what we must," my friend said.

And she meant it, because she does it.

In the face of heartbreak, every single day she gets up and tackles what must be done. She goes to work, takes care of clients, pays the bills, takes care of her children, deals with teachers, helps the family cope, plans for the inevitable, deals with doctors and every single day she she tenderly cares for her ailing husband. No question, she does what she must and she does it heroically.

And somewhere in there, the dogs get fed, the laundry gets done, the house is more or less straight, and she is presentable, calm and professional. Because she must be. Because there is no other choice. Life, and the doctors, and the disease have given her no other choice.

Driving home from our visit, I felt the gift of her strength - and her sorrow.

If she can, I can. If she can, you can.

Love,

Jennifer

What happens after

Having trouble getting into your story? If you can't figure out how to take readers to the point where your story really begins, consider skipping the setup. Try diving right into 'what happens after.'

Writers can struggle so much with how to get into a moment that we overlook the power of what comes after that moment. Whether we're writing for a character or writing from our lives, we think that for readers to really understand our point we need to write the full setup, share all of everything that led to this, tell the whole, complicated backstory. 

We don't.

Some of the best entry points to a story, memoir, or anecdote occur right when a shift happens, not hours or weeks before. Rather than struggling through rewrite after rewrite to build up to a scene, drop the reader right into it and keep writing. When the natural pause comes, take a break. You may realize when you come back to the piece that less backstory creates more tension and more interest.

After all, isn't this how real life unfolds? It's just another day and then, in the space of seconds or minutes, it becomes the day your mother had a heart attack, the day you found out you were pregnant, the day the planes hit the Twin Towers, the day you won the lottery, the day you lost your job. Suddenly, it's no longer a day, it's The Day.

If 'what happens after' is what your story is really about, jump into the key moment and start writing. The backstory you truly need will become obvious.

Take care,

Jennifer

?: How do you get into the story?

Writing Tips: Read it out loud. Just do it.

When in doubt, read your work out loud. The ear is sensitive in ways the mind is not. You'll hear things you no longer see, usually because you've stared at the page for too long.

Listen for:

* Word repetition. Read it out loud once and catch what you can. Then read it again, emphasizing 'special' words, significant modifiers or words you suspect you use too often. Pay attention to words that describe your main theme. You CAN find alternatives. Avoid repetitions within the same paragraph unless you want emphasis.

* Awkward phrasing. Missing words, stilted vocabulary that flows on the page but grates on the ear, to much explanation, etc.

* False voice in your characters. (Would she really say that? You'll know when you hear it said whether it sounds like her or not.)

* Wordiness. Unnecessary phrases, extra words, superlatives when none are needed.

Edit, and try another reading aloud. Subsequent readings will offer more insight.

Since I edit as I write, then take a break, then edit again, reading aloud is one of the final edits I do. Rarely the last one, just one of the later ones.

Try it and see if you don't produce finer work.

Got an editing habit or trick that works well for you? I'd love to hear it.

Take care,

Jennifer

Memoir writing: Find the reason you share

There are good reasons to share from your life.  Good writers know those reasons. They have a rationale for telling their stories. This is the 'why' of their writing.

Everyone has a story and most of us find our own stories fascinating. Telling too much is the great temptation of writing memoir. To control your story, know your motivation. 

Memoirists are driven to share what it was like for them. Good memoirists can tell you why they share and, more importantly, when and why they don't. In memoir, what you leave out is as important as what you include.

What's included moves the story forward, provides insight, deepens and expands the purpose, whether that's to:

* Share a moment in time or history that has some universal meaning or timeless lesson or insight

* Preserve memories of people, places, events

* Explain yourself - why you did something, how you felt, what your choices really were, what you meant to say, what you wish had happened, why you are the way you are

* Tell a good story

* Convey wisdom, love, forgiveness, compassion, strength or their opposites, depending on your values

* Express your world view

* Leave a legacy for those you love; or any number of reasons.

Knowing what doesn't belong is essential to good writing. Knowing your purpose helps you distill what should stay, and what should not.

?: How do you know what to leave in, and what to edit out?

Jennifer